What To Blog About When You Have Nothing To Blog About & Other Tales

This week I made a shocking discovery (no, I didn't find a dead body!). Apparently it's not that easy to come up with something amazing to blog about after all. It's the last week of November and after churning out seven blog posts, I somehow managed to delude myself into thinking I possess the divine power to write whenever I snap my fingers. 

After spending this past week snapping my fingers sore, berating myself for being silly and reading a bunch of blogs about writing, I've come to the conclusion that I'm just going to cheat. Yep, you read that right. I'm going to cheat. I've nothing to write about, not a single thing, so I'm just going to write about things to write about when you have nothing to write about so that I'm at least writing something even if what I'm writing doesn't actually make much sense (do follow!).

Yep, that's what I had & it was awful!
1) A Cold
I had a nasty cold last week...breaking news, I know. If you follow me on Twitter chances are that you know that already (chances are also that you unfollowed me because of it). When I'm unwell I tend to spend an ample amount of time telling people about it. I find bemoaning the fact that I'm not well helps. People tend to pity you when you do that. Pity is nice when you're not well. Hugs are even nicer and chocolate is my medicine of choice.

Then there are also those who offer helpful advice. I appreciate that because the last thing I want to do when I'm sick is use my brain. I much prefer letting others to do the work. When you're sick it's difficult enough to drag yourself and your gleaming red nose down to the shop to stock up on tissues. You're achy all over and somehow your little toe is frozen because you're so cold while the tip of your ear is smoking because you're so hot. You have absolutely no idea how difficult it is to grab a fresh issue just in time to stop a sneeze from splashing all over your keyboard and iPhone screen and how little fun it is to catch up on the likes of Glee and NCIS:Los Angeles when your eyes won't stop watering!

By the way, just in case you care, I totally blame the fact that I got a cold on getting a flu jab. I will never understand how such a small needle (Did I mention that I hate needles?! No? Well I do, really hate them!) can do so much damage. "Bit of a sore arm," that nice, lovely woman doctor said to me...she so lied to me! I practically couldn't use the damn thing for two days! That silly flu jab messed with my writing arm (and my immune system!) and I don't take kindly to things or people that mess with my writing arm. So yeah, flu jab never again!

2) Chocolate
That is actually something to write about but just like writing about coffee, which I've already done, this does take a bit of work and because I'm so damn good at procrastinating I'm never getting the necessary research done to actually write about chocolate. Because you know I actually want to be nice and tell you loads of interesting facts about chocolate, like how to taste it right and which chocolate is the best (we all know that's Lindt because let's face it Cadbury's suck...they wouldn't know good chocolate if someone threw it their faces). Instead of showing you just how apt I am at researching (read: how well I can use Google.ie) and how many quirky facts about chocolate I can find I'm just gonna tell you that chocolate is AWESOME (which you already knew) so uhm...that's the subject closed for now and just to remind you, I did mention at the start of this post that I was going to cheat which brings me straight to my next point:

3) Cheating
What an excellent subject to talk about except I can't tell you much about it as I'm not particularly knowledgeable in all things cheating. So far I've always been the one who let others cheat (I am talking about exam papers here!) and who got cheated on (I'm no longer talking about exam papers now!). I was always that freaky student who refused to cheat which in hindsight was a bloody stupid idea because I could've done a lot better in my maths exams had I copied from my friend who should be eternally grateful to me for the fact that she graduated with a B in English...the amount of homework I did for that woman! So yeah, I totally can't cheat. I'm convinced I would get caught the second that I try so I just don't try...yep, I was also that freaky student who would look herself in her room after school and berate herself for not cheating. This reminds me, one of my maths teachers once said to me I'd get further in his class if I cheated in the exam (I kid you not!)...yes I had some very strange teachers.

4) The Letter C
The fourth letter of the alphabet. What a curious letter it is indeed. It looks like an O except that a mouse appears to have mistaken it for cheese. Not to worry, I'm not going to indulge you in a long and boring essay about the letter C. My essay writing days are well and truly over...I wrote too many of those in art class for failing my art exams (I couldn't very well cheat on those!)

[I feel the need to explain at this point that I wasn't a complete failure back in school. There were plenty of things I was good at, like writing my classmates English and German essays and correctly reciting all nations in the EU and their capital cities. I was also pretty good at talking back whenever my teachers said something I didn't agree with...yes I was that annoying student!]

It is curious that all the things I am not blogging about appear to start with the letter C. This brings out my OCD personality which is presently trying to convince me that I should just blog about things that start with C. Since that would however go entirely against my plan of blogging about things you shouldn't be blogging about when you have nothing to blog about because seriously when you have nothing to blog about you really shouldn't be blogging not even about things that you shouldn't be blogging about...does this sentence even still make sense?!

I made these and I'm totally going to brag about it!

5) Cookies
I could probably blog about cookies. Especially home-made cookies. I'm somewhat new to the art of unsupervised baking but so far I have managed not to set the kitchen or myself on fire (there's an award for that, right?). Before my awesome coffee mate left me in favour of Singapore (I still haven't forgiven her for that! Singapore couldn't possibly be more interesting than me!) we made Christmas cookies together. We picked the recipes together, bought all the ingredients (on a Saturday when everyone else was Christmas shopping...we were so exhausted when we finally got home we had to open up a bottle of Baileys for medicinal purposes!), dug out the Christmas tunes and spend the entire afternoon recreating the scene from a German children's song titled "The Christmas Bakery". It was fun. We laughed. We had a few drinks. We watched a movie or two. We ate oven-fresh cookies. We had more drinks. We plotted how to best go about bribing our colleagues into telling us they loved our cookies.

Turns out cookies are astonishingly easy to make. If you're a novice like me, all you need is a basic recipe which you can get adventurous with and preparing the dough doesn't even take very long + you get to chill and watch a movie while the fresh dough takes a nap in your fridge. You can decorate the cookies any which way you like or just leave them plain (I settled for sprinkling a little bit of icing sugar on the cookies, it makes them look pretty). You can form letters, half-moons, cut out little Christmas trees, stars and angels...whatever you choose. A basic dough is really all you need. I'll even let you in on a secret: Home-made cookies are perfectly suitable for breakfast and they're healthy - especially chocolate cookies. Cookies are also a brilliant and thoughtful gift to bring along when meeting your friends...get them to buy the tea/coffee to go with it!

Christmas bears!

6) Christmas
All this talk about cookies has me feeling all christmassy. Besides, for the first time in six years (yes, six!!!) I've actually got some time off over Christmas so I'm feeling a little less hostile towards Christmas. I've got time to appreciate the Christmas lights on Grafton Street and is there anything better than the smell of a fresh Christmas tree? It's the time to enjoy one too many Starbucks Christmas drinks and bake cookies, loads of cookies. I may even get my Christmas cards written on time...which would be a first. I have time to be amused about the fact that everyone around me is panicking about getting their Christmas shopping sorted. Yes, I really am that mean. The fact that you are freaking out about not being able to find a Christmas present for your aunt's cousin's daughter's niece's best friend amuses me. While you fret I'm just going to hang out at Starbucks and have another Toffeenut Latte. Come find me when you're done, I'll buy you a cookie.

Sure thing.

7) China
This has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas or cookies or any of the other nonsense I've spouted so far. I have, against my will I may add, (there are evil, dark forces at work here!) succumbed to a themed blog post. There are plenty of things one could write about China but since you all know that I'm learning Mandarin or that I passed my HSK exam I'm not going to bore you with anything China-related (you can let go of that breath you were holding!). I'll leave any China related chatter up to the pros, who actually know what they're talking about. I could now tell you who those pros are but because I'm not actually blogging about China, it would be counter-productive for me to do so. See, "China" definitely belongs on my list of things to blog about when I have nothing to blog about...it's a disaster waiting to happen.


8) Cocktails
I'm trying to figure out what would happen if I was to down all those pretty, colourful cocktails in the picture above...*shudder*...swiftly moving on to: How many cocktails can you list in one minute?

1) Zilch (you must be a bloke!)
2) 3-5 (pour performance)
3) 10 (nice work, let's go for drinks!)
4) 50+ (are you sure you haven't made any up?)

I miss cocktails, you know? There's no decent cocktail bar anywhere in Dublin. Sure loads of places have cocktails but I miss going to an actual cocktail bar...you know the kinda place you get frowned upon if you order a Jack Daniels On The Rocks (which I wouldn't recommend anyway). If you want to drink whiskey you should be drinking Irish Whiskey, namely Jameson! It's pretty darn good!

There are a few places in Dublin that make awesome Moijtos but there's just something about going out with a couple of your girlfriends and sipping sweet drinks all night long, especially when you've got an actual cocktail menu to choose from or when the theme of the night is "naughty drinks" - nothing beats watching that new bartender at your usual haunt blush a lovely shade of red when you (with a straight face naturally!) order some Sex On The Beach and a Screaming Orgasm. I suggest you do this while still sober, you may get an entirely difficult result when trying to place this order while inebriated...