Sometimes something as simple as saying goodbye can seem impossible to accomplish, sometimes it’s the easiest thing you’ll ever do.
Back in 2013, I decided to leave my life in Ireland behind in favour of exploring the unknown, in favour of starting all over again in a country far away from home, far away from everything I knew and was familiar with. Also, I was head over heels in love with a guy, my “Prince Charming” or so I thought. I left Ireland, a great career, friends, family, everything I knew, to struggle with a language I barely had a handle on, surrounded by unfamiliar people and customs. I quickly learnt that moving half way across the world, all in the name of love, wasn’t exactly the smartest decision, but I’d read somewhere that everyone should move for love at least once in their life and so I decided to look ahead with no regrets.
I made new friends, kept in touch with old ones, and tried my very best to acclimatise, to learn, to grow, to overcome every challenge life decided to throw at me. Some challenges I mastered quite well, others could have benefited from a little more consideration and contemplation.
I’ve never tried to be perfect, and I know I never will, but I think my parents raised me right, taught me how to be a good person, albeit a pretty stubborn one. Despite being a stubborn mule at the best of times, I will still listen to reason and try to better myself in any way I can.
But... changes are scary, it means you have to let go of what you know and are familiar with in favour of venturing into the unknown, in favour of stumbling about in the darkness in the hope you’ll find the light switch before the corner of the coffee table finds your shin.
One would thing that I’m a pro at dealing with changes, I mean I’ve uprooted my life a number of times in favour of starting all over again, always with one of dad’s words of worldly wisdom in the back of my mind: “My dear daughter, when you fall down you have two choices; you can stay down and cry or you can get up, dust yourself off and get on with it, always, no matter the situation, choose the later.” At times I’ve found it incredibly difficult to get myself off the ground and dust myself off, but somehow I always managed it, although I didn’t always do so alone, I had help from friends and family.
Despite having had to change and start afresh so many times, be that because I had to change or because I wanted to, I’ve never found it particularly easy. I’m most definitely a creature of habit and find it terribly difficult to give up on things I’ve grown accustomed to, even knowing I’d be better off changing (and/or walking away from something or somebody).
For the last couple of months I’ve been acutely aware of the fact that a big change might be necessary and that I would greatly benefit from it, still I chose to procrastinate for a number of weeks, living in a fantasy world of “all will be alright”, before finally dragging myself off the ground and taking matters into my own hands.
Goodbyes are never easy but sometimes they are the best thing that’s ever going to happen. I’m sad to leave behind some great people and I will, without a doubt, miss them a lot, but I’ve chosen to follow a good friend’s advice and put myself first. Every now and then being selfish isn’t the worst thing you can do, in fact it’s the best thing you’ll ever do.